Little Flowers
by Clouted Cankerblossom
Summary: 'When someone you love might be lost forever it can be hard to accept that you're never going to see them again but at some point accept it you must' -Dylan/ Sam friendship
1. Imagination

Notes:** I'm going to be brave here by writing my first ever multi-chapter fic… It's probably all been done before because I'm not very original with my storylines but hopefully if you've read it all before you're prepared to read it all again! I'm going to attempt to update every day but I really doubt it'll happen. I'm going for Sam/ Dylan friendship and I might hint at Sam/ Tom romance if everyone wants me to.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't have any rights to the characters I write about

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**_For my lovely baby sister Scarlet who celebrates her second birthday today xx_**

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She gets lost in books like most people get lost in mazes. She'll start reading one but won't be able to stop; once a book is in her hands it doesn't vacate them until she is completely finished with it. Only then will she stop reading. She's reading now, sat in the staff-room with a book glued to her hands and her eyes glued to the page, absolutely determined to finish the book, or at least the chapter she's on. She stops only to glance at the clock and gives a sigh. It's ages until the end of Dylan's shift; she has plenty of time to read.

She doesn't look up again until she hears a familiar voice calling her name. 'Scarlet, your dad wanted me to tell you that he's going to be late, we've got an incoming RTC' she looks up to find Sam stood on the other side of the table, by the lockers.

'Oh' she says, disappointed 'how long will he be?' she asks, swiping a stray ginger hair out of her face. Sam moves her head from side to side in a 'so-so' gesture before saying.

'I'm really not sure, could be half an hour, could be all night' Sam tells her and she sighs in response, knowing that means he'll be working overnight again.

'Guess I'm stuck here then' she comments with a shrug, preparing herself for yet another night at the hospital. She ends up spending most of her nights there, what with Dylan working all the time and no-one else to look after her. She's grown used to it but she often wishes she could spend more nights in her own bed in her own home, where she feels most comfortable.

'I'll go see if there's any time frame on how long he'll be' Sam promises, slamming her locker shut and turning to face Scarlet. 'Toffee?' she offers, holding out a bag full of them, all wrapped in different colours.

'No thanks' Scarlet replies with a gentle shake of the head 'I cleaned my teeth before I came'

Sam raises her eyebrows, a little confused by this response. 'And that prevents you from having a toffee because?' she asks, trying to draw some sense from the remark she just heard.

'It would cancel out the action of brushing my teeth' she explains 'and besides, the flavours would mix; I had to use Luc's silly strawberry toothpaste and artificial strawberry mixed with toffee does _not _sound nice'

'But Scarlet' Sam says, placing a hand on the table between them 'you must have brushed your teeth at least two hours ago; I saw you in here at four' she says, giving an almost disbelieving chuckle as she does so.

'True' Scarlet admits 'but that strawberry stuff is strong; I can still taste it in the back of my mouth and I'd hate to even get a hint of the disgusting flavour I'm currently imagining' she points out, backing up her point, determined to be right.

'Fine, fine, if you're sure' Sam gives in, pretty sure there's no way she'll beat Dylan's twelve year old daughter, she's far too like him 'I'll just go and check with your dad when he'll be able to take you home'

Scarlet watches as Sam leaves the room, remembering when she used to call Sam her mother. Not that Sam was ever her biological mother but Scarlet had never properly known her real mother, she'd died before Scarlet could even utter 'Mama' let alone fully acknowledge the world around her. She'd loved Sam like a mother and she was definitely the closest thing she'd ever known to a Mum; she was the only woman she'd ever seen her Dad truly love and the only woman who'd cared about her and Jude, the only woman who possibly still cared about them.

She turned her thoughts to Jude, her older brother, who'd said he'd be at the hospital by five but still hadn't come, even though it was almost six. She exhaled out of pure indignation and frustration at the fact he was never on time before reaching over to her school bag and pulling her phone out of the front pocket. It wasn't anything modern, it wasn't even touch screen but it worked and that was all she cared about. She dials Jude's number and presses the call button while raising the phone up to her ear. She listens to it ring, her impatience mounting with every beep until eventually it goes to voicemail.

'Hi Jude, it's Scout, Dad's probably going to end up working overnight so can you get here as soon as possible? You said you'd be here an hour ago.' She ends the voicemail there before placing the phone down beside her book. She is about to resume her reading when Sam comes back in.

'Scarlet, it looks as if your dad is going to be all night, he's got multiple casualties to deal with.' Scarlet grimaces and opens her mouth to reply but before she gets the chance Sam cuts in 'but he says you can come back to mine if you'd rather sleep in a proper bed tonight, he tells me you've slept here every night so far this week'

Scarlet nodded in response the latter remark while answering verbally to the former. 'If it's all right with you Sam, I'd like it very much to sleep at yours tonight' she says politely 'can I just ring my brother first though?' she asks, picking up the phone from beside her and waving it at Sam. 'He was meant to be here at five' she explains.

'You mean Luc?' Sam asks incredulously 'I thought he'd gone to his mum's for the weekend' she says and she's right.

'No, Luc _has_ gone to his mum's, it's Jude I need to call' Scarlet answers as Sam's bites her lip, suddenly looking as though she's about to cry.

'Scarlet, Jude's gone' Sam says to her, walking around the table and sliding onto the stool next to Scarlet, taking Scarlet's hand in her own. She looks Scarlet directly in the eye and says 'Scarlet, Jude's been gone for months now'

'What do you mean by gone?' Scarlet asks, her voice trembling and tears beginning to sting in her eyes.

'I mean he's missing and has been since July' Sam says, trying to comprehend Scarlet's lack of acknowledgement towards the topic 'someone claims to have seen him walk down a snicket on his way to the hospital at about quarter to five but no-one has seen him since then, he's been missing'

Scarlet shakes her head. 'No' she says, refusing to believe what she's just heard. 'You're lying' she concludes after thinking for a moment 'you're lying' she shouts, pulling her hand away from Sam's. 'I saw him this morning, I saw him' she persists 'he burnt his toast but covered it in marmalade and ate it anyway. He tricked Luc into believing there were ghosts in his bedroom and Luc started crying so I had to comfort him. He used the last of the toothpaste. He said he'd meet me here at five. He said. He promised.' Sam shuts her eyes for a moment, trying to stop herself from crying at Scarlet's reaction but Scarlet goes on. 'I know he's still alive, I know it, I see him every day'

'Scarlet, you're imagining him. Every time you see Jude you're imagining it, all those things you described happened the morning before he went missing' she wipes a tear away from Scarlet's cheek but Scarlet just flinches and jumps off the stool. 'He might still be alive, Scout' Sam begins, trying to find a way to make the girls accept what had happened.

'No.' Scarlet says 'that's Jude's name for me. Jude calls me Scout. Dad and Luc call me Scout. No-one else calls me that.'

'Okay then, Scarlet' Sam says, evidently getting exasperated 'your brother might still be alive but I sincerely doubt it and you have to accept this, you have to accept that he's probably dead'

Scarlet looks Sam in the eye and says through gritted teeth 'My brother is still alive. I'd know if he was dead; I'd know it'

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**There will be more explained about Luc in later chapters, he probably seems like a bit of an odd child at the moment but he does have relevance, trust me) Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review and if you like it enough to favourite or follow please do, I'd really appreciate it as I love to know people are enjoying what I write!**

**Happy New Year everyone!**


	2. The Sound of Silence

**Disclaimer: **I own the characters of Jude, Luc and Scarlet but nothing else

**_For Asa, my little genius of a brother who just informed me he can now recite all the monarchs of England in order. I think I'll dedicate each chapter to a sibling until I run out._**

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**Chapter Two**

_**The Sound of Silence**_

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_Dylan_

When Sam burst into my resus for the second time that night I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I certainly didn't expect her to inform me that Scarlet wasn't coping with Jude's disappearance as if I wasn't already perfectly aware of this fact. 'Yes Sam, I know she isn't and if you don't mind I'd really rather not discuss it' I say brusquely as she stands at the end of my patient's bed looking imploringly at me with almost a hint of anger in her eyes.

'Dylan, your daughter is in a quite frankly horrific mental state and you'd rather not talk about it?' she asks disbelievingly. I snap the file in my hands shut and turn to my patient.

'Excuse me Mr Higgins, I've just got to deal with this' I say before taking hold of Sam's upper arm and walking her out of resus to the nurse's station. She shrugs my arm away and I place my hand on my hip. 'Sam, really?' I say to her 'you thought it was sensible to walk into resus and openly discuss a private matter with me in front of the patient? You thought it was _suitable_ to come in and inform me of something I already know perfectly well about my own daughter as though I'm clueless to the matter?' I ask her incredulously, not bothering to hide my irritation at her entrance.

'I didn't mean to undermine you or whatever you think I did' Sam protests to me 'I just think you need to support her more, help her through this. She's lost a brother.' Sam says, her voice fading off a little towards the end, dropping in volume close to a whisper.

'And I've lost a Son' I say, fiercely tapping away on the computer keys, taking my anger out on the keyboard. 'Now just take her home, I'll pick her up in the morning' I say with a wave of my hand, softening a little. Sam sighs before sloping away from the surface, walking off quickly with her head held high in an almost stubborn manor. I sigh as she does so, knowing what she said was probably entirely correct, I just don't want to accept it.

'All right, mate?' I hear Tom ask and look up to see him signing off some medication, before coming over to me and placing a hand on my back. 'You look a bit agitated, tough day?'

'What's it to you?' I ask him, almost snapping his head off. He looks rather taken aback and I decide to make amends. 'Sorry, sorry' I say, not really meaning it, all thoughts of amends suddenly blown out of the water 'just having a difficult day and I'd rather not be disturbed by colleagues pretending to be concerned but who in actual fact couldn't give a toss.' If he looked shocked before, he was positively stunned now.

'Right' he says, slowly walking away backwards 'I think I'll leave you to it' he concludes as he makes his way over towards a cubicle. Another person to walk away from me, two in under a minute. It's my own fault; I know I push people away but I suppose I do it without thinking, it's become a default setting now, something I've done since before I can remember and it's just become me.

_Scarlet_

You like it at Sam's. The bed you sleep in is comfortable and the room is nicely decorated. In fact, the whole flat is nicely decorated. It's modern yet it still manages to feel homely and Sam always makes you feel comfortable, even if you turn up at the most inconvenient times. You go straight to your room, the spare room you always sleep in and place down your school bag before going through to the living room and kitchen, where Sam is putting some crisps into a bowl.

'Hungry?' she asks you, licking her salty fingers and holding out the bowl of crisps.

'Thanks' you accept them with a grin 'the artificial strawberry taste has finally died down' you tell her and she smiles at you in an amused way. You sit down on the sofa and she comes to join you. You sit there in silence. A comfortable silence, not the awkward silences you get when someone has just said the wrong thing or the silence you experience when something awful has just happened. A silence made by choice, a silence the two of you are enjoying and appreciating. No words are needed and you like that, that's what you've always liked about Sam. When you're with her she seems to know what you're thinking and how you're feeling without asking you.

'Sam' you say, suddenly shattering the silence. 'Why could I not remember that Jude was missing, why did I think I'd seen him this morning?' you ask, voicing the concern that has perplexed you and warped your mind since you were reminded of your brother's disappearance.

'I think you wanted to forget it ever happened' Sam says sadly, looking as though she's about to cry. 'Sometimes when something bad happens the easiest way to deal with it is pretend it never happened and that's what you did; you convinced yourself your brother was still alive'

'He is still alive' you say 'we just don't know where he's living' you tell her adamantly, determined to prove her wrong. 'I know he is' you say fiercely. Sam takes your hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.

'I'm sorry' she says, her voice thick with tears, her body trembling a little 'I'm so sorry Scarlet' she shakes her head, her voice no but a whisper through the tears.

'Why are you sorry?' you ask 'you've done nothing wrong, you've nothing to be sorry for' you tell her as tears begin to roll down her cheeks and she presses your hand to her mouth, gently placing a kiss on it.

'I've always thought of you like a daughter and Jude like a son but I haven't looked after you, have I?' she says 'Some mother I've been; I let Jude go missing, I've failed to notice how badly you're coping, I've neglected you, both of you' she sobs, placing an arm round your shoulders and pulling you in, hugging you close.

'You've done fine' you hug her back, resting your head against her chest in a mother-daughter action you never thought you'd get the chance to do. 'None of this was anyone's fault' you say and the two of you sit there. Sit there in that comfortable silence, the silence the two of you have chosen to have. It's odd how easily silence falls between the two of you, how hours of silence can pass and neither of you notice. You've no idea how long you sit there but the next thing you remember is waking up in Sam's spare room, fully clothed with the exception on of your shoes. You realise you must have fallen asleep while you were sat with Sam and she carried you to bed, took your trainers off. You slide out of bed and pad through to the kitchen living room where Sam is sat, eating cereal on the sofa while watching some form of detective drama and you get her attention by saying her name.

'Scarlet' she turns around in her seat 'you're awake' she exclaims, placing her cereal on the coffee table and launching herself out of the sofa, practically running into the kitchen section of the room. 'Did you sleep well? What would you like for breakfast?' she asks, banging down both hands on the surface 'I've got all sorts, _Cheerio's, Rice Krispies, Cornflakes, _toast' she reels off the breakfast options 'I could even make pancakes if you like' she adds, tying her hair back with a bobble that was round her wrist as she does so.

'Erm' you hesitate '_Rice Krispies _will be fine thanks' you say and she ducks down, disappearing from view for a moment. You hear a clunk as the cupboard is opened and shut again and Sam reappears, armed with a bowl and a box of cereal.

'Say when' she instructs you and you say the obligatory 'when' once enough cereal is in the bowl. The milk is retrieved from the fridge and the same activity occurs, she tells you to inform her when there is enough milk for your liking and you do so. She passes the bowl and a spoon to you and pours you a glass of orange juice, which she also hands to you. The two of you sit together on the sofa, quietly munching on your cereal while you watch the crime drama on television. Neither of you say a word and though it isn't silence it may as well be; neither of you are paying any attention whatsoever to the events on the television and the munching of the cereal is but background noise to the prominent sound of silence.

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**_Thanks for reading, please review!_**


	3. Suppressing emotions

**Disclaimer: **Anything you recognise belongs to the BBC

**_For Ollie, my little hyper nutter of a brother who never fails to make me smile._**

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**Chapter four**

**_Suppressing emotions_**

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Dylan arrived almost a moment after Scarlet had finished breakfast. He didn't say much when he collected her, just thanked Sam gruffly and walked off, his hand rested on Scarlet's shoulder. They didn't say much on the journey back; Dylan asked Scarlet if she'd had a good time and she'd replied with 'yes thanks' but other than that conversation was pretty thin. They walked in silence but not the comfortable silence that had fallen with Sam; an uncomfortable silence in which both of them felt awkward.

Scarlet finally spoke, not in an attempt to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere but merely out of pure frustration at just how little she could connect with her father. 'Why are you always like this?' she splutters, her voice far higher than its usual tone.

'Like what?' Dylan asks, clearly shocked at his daughter's outburst, wondering what on earth provoked it.

'So uncaring and unfeeling. So miserable and grumpy. So unsociable' she lists 'I don't understand, you never seem to give a toss about anything or anyone and yet you seem perfectly satisfied with feeling so little. I don't understand how you do it. I try not to care but it never works, how can you always be so unaffected by everything?' She asks, close to tears. They've begun to receive a few strange looks from various passers-by but neither of them notice, each far too wrapped up in thought to care about what's going on around them. Neither speak again the rest of the journey home but Dylan's deep in thought, Scarlet knows he is.

When they get back to the boat they're greeted by Dervla as usual and both fuss over the little curly-haired dog, Scarlet particularly. Only when Dervla has trotted off, tired of socializing and probably thirsty does Dylan speak. 'I'm not unfeeling' he says 'I just keep my feelings to myself, I hate to show my emotions' he tells her.

'But how?' Scarlet whispers 'How can you stop yourself from crying, from laughing, from yelling? I don't understand how you do it?' she asks, determined to, for once, coax an answer out of her father.

'I just do' he snaps 'I just manage to hide my emotions, I think of the embarrassment showing them will cause and then they stay out of the way, out of view.' He waves his hands about in some sort of gesture as he says this and Scarlet can't help but giggle. 'Why are you laughing?' he asks 'you think it's funny, do you? You find it amusing that I don't like to portray myself as weak in front of others?' he continues waving his hands about and Scarlet shakes her head while laughing.

'It's the hands' she says through giggles and he scoffs at her, once again flinging his hands about. She tries to stifle her laughter; placing a hand over her mouth in order to do so. 'Sorry, Dad' she says, apologising to him with absolutely no depth in the apology whatsoever, her amusement still evidently present. 'I think it's amazing that you manage to keep yourself so strong' she says. 'Hug?' she asks, holding out her arms to him.

'I'm not really the-' he objects but is cut off by Scarlet wrapping her arms around him and resting her head against his chest. He presses a gentle kiss on the top of her head, a display of emotion that to others comes naturally but to him is a rare show of affection, before pushing her gently away. There are tears welling up in his as he holds his daughter away to look at her, realising how much she'd grown up in the past few months, not in height but in the way she had become more like a parent to him and Luc than he ever was to any of his children.

'Do you want to play Cluedo?' she suddenly asks and Dylan gives her an inquisitive look, causing her to feel obliged to explain herself. 'When we were little, you and Sam always used to play Cluedo with us and Sam would always-'

'Tell me off for not letting you win' Dylan finishes her comment almost sarcastically 'yes, I remember' Scarlet laughed at how seriously he was taking the accusation.

'We were only about three or four' she states 'you should really have taken pity on our poor, undeveloped small brains' she teased him.

'I'm sure you were older than that' he protests 'you were at least seven and I'm sure Jude was about ten or eleven' he tells her as he goes to get out the Cluedo from the back of the shelf. 'If you'd only been toddlers I'm almost certain I'd have been at least nice enough to give you a small advantage.'

'Nope' Scarlet says, adamant 'Sam left when I was five so we can't have been older than five and eight.' She concludes 'so there' she sticks her tongue out at him and he grimaces at her. It doesn't take long for him to realise that as well as being able to argue the hind legs off a donkey his daughter was now significantly better than him at Cluedo. He begins to squirm when, for the third time in a row, he finds himself three steps behind her as she guesses yet another combination he's miles from solving.

'When did you get so good at this?' he asks as her guess turns out to be correct. She shrugs nonchalantly just to infuriate him even more so he thinks she's not been trying before answering.

'Jude and I used to play it all the time' she says 'and sometimes Luc would join in but he'd always end up playing on my team because he didn't really understand' she explains.

'I'm not surprised' Dylan mutters, collecting up the various counters that are scattered across the board while Scarlet scoops up the weapons. 'Can I be on your team next time we play?' he asks, jokingly.

'Did Dylan Keogh just tell a joke?' Scarlet asks a broad smile pasting itself across her face.

'Definitely not' Dylan says 'I was merely making a remark that happened to amuse you. As they say, the joke is on you.'

'The joke is on you?' Scarlet questions 'I'm pretty sure that doesn't work in the context' her smile continues to broaden as his irritation rises.

'And I'm pretty sure it does.' Dylan says definitely, as if that settles the matter. 'Hot chocolate?' he asks her, rising to his feet and making his way into the kitchen section of the boat. 'I've got all sorts of flavours, I bought some kind of pack thing that apparently gives you the _most exotic variety of chocolate seasonings you'll ever taste; a gateway to a cup of heaven he_ reads from the packet, holding it up to Scarlet, who's up until now been putting the game away.

'It gives you what?' she asks through giggles, walking over to Dylan and seizing the packet from his hands. He turns away to begin making tea for himself while she reads through the flavours. 'Peppermint, okay I guess, milk chocolate, white chocolate and dark chocolate are all normal, orange and almond are a bit on the peculiar side but what on earth is a _habanero pepper?' _she asks.

'They put that in hot chocolate?' Dylan turns away from his tea for a moment to retrieve the packet from his daughter. 'It's just a variety of chilli pepper' he tells her 'but I had no idea they were putting it in hot chocolate nowadays.' He raises one eyebrow as he pushes the packet back to Scarlet and pours the boiling water from the kettle into his mug. 'So, what are you going to have?' he asks her and she rips open the pack.

'I think I'll just go for a plain old milk hot chocolate' she decides, removing a smaller pale brown packet. 'The others sound too risky for my liking.'

'So you're saying I spent over ten pounds and you're only going to eat the boring flavour I could have got for about three quid?'

'Yep' Scarlet says sheepishly 'but if you like you can have the habanero pepper flavour' she hints, taking out a small red package from the selection 'there are two of them to drink' she tells him 'and they have to go somewhere; after all, we wouldn't want to waste all that hot chocolate.'

'No, no way' he says to her 'I'm not having that; I'm drinking my tea and that's it.' He tells her throwing back the packet she's thrust into his hands.

'Oh come on' Scarlet begs 'I know you'll love it' she pleads, switching on a look many would label 'puppy dog face'. A look she's pretty sure even Dylan can't say no to. And he can't.

So against his will, they spend the rest of the night experimenting with hot chocolate.

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**It's a bit of a filler chapter and becomes a little pointless towards the end but I wanted to try and write a scene in which Dylan and Scarlet were behaving like a normal father and daughter, even though I don't really know how that exactly works myself. Hoping I got it as in character and accurate as possible! I'm not sure if it's possible to get the packs of hot chocolate I was on about so allow me some poetic license with that one! Thank you so much for reading at it would really make my day if you could drop me a line to tell me what you thought, I only got one review on the last chapter (thanks ficmouse! You have an amazing pen name by the way…) so I'm hoping for a few more this time round!**

**_Butterfly_**


	4. Real-life nightmare

**_For Marianne, my best friend and older sister._**

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**_Chapter Four_**

**_Real-life Nightmare_**

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Sam remembers the day she first met Scarlet and Jude. Scarlet had been two, Jude five and they'd quietly sat down on the sofa, Scarlet with a picture book on her knee and the ear of a soft rabbit clutched in her small clenched fist and Jude with baseball cap pulled over his eyes and two _playmobil_ figures, a pirate and builder in his own, slightly bigger fists. They'd been silent at first, Jude fiddled with his toys and Scarlet read her book, sucking her thumb and having great difficulty turning over the pages using only one hand, a hand already occupied by the rabbit, who Sam found out was called 'Spotty' because of the spotted pattern on its ears and feet. Dylan had been in the kitchen, cooking, when Sam finally got a response from the two small children. She'd tried asking them about their toys but they'd simply blushed and muttered something incomprehensible. Then she'd asked if she could go and see their bedroom but again, the same incoherent mumble escaped their mouths. Her third and fourth attempts to coax the children from their shells had been based on food and clothing but her fifth attempt, the one that finally worked, was based on her pulling a face at them when her mother rang her to inquire as to her whereabouts and 'if she'd be returning for tea'.

Looking back on it, she found it strange that the two children had almost rejected her friendly advances that, to her, took more effort than the simple face she had to pull in order to paint the two smiles that graced their faces. Maybe they sensed that she wasn't enjoying the small talk yet pulling the face was more natural. Maybe, even at two and five, they were fare more intelligent than most adults. She remembers so much about those two children and when she left, she's sure the thing she missed most about her life with Dylan was having the two of them around. She missed hearing the sound of little feet pattering about, the children's television, and the way she never got more than a handful of hours sleep when they were around. She missed the songs they'd sing, the fights they'd have, the laughs that used to fill up her home when they were around. That was possibly the thing she missed most. Their laughter. Because now, she rarely heard the genuine laughter she used to hear when she was with Scarlet and Jude.

Her phone begins to vibrate and up pops the little 'call' icon. She unlocks it with a single slide and realises it's from Dylan. She answers it and places the phone to her ear and a gentle smile graces her face as she does so. 'Hello?' she answers.

'Hi, it's Dylan' she hears him say. She's about to say something in response, possibly sarcastic but she's not sure, she never really knows what she's going to say before she says it, when he expands on his initial greeting. 'They think they've found Jude's body' he says, his voice now significantly more hushed. 'In a river' he ushers and Sam is unable to prevent the sob that comes out from escaping.

'Are they sure it's him?' she asks after a moment of silence. 'Or do they need to do more tests?'

'They're pretty sure' Dylan says, his voice rough and shaky. 'But the funny thing is they think he only died last night and Scarlet woke up crying at about eleven; she claimed she'd had a bad dream but wouldn't tell me what about. I know it sounds strange but what if she woke up because she knew he was being killed?'

'Well, she was almost certain he wasn't dead when I spoke to her last week' Sam says, sinking back into her sofa. 'She was adamant' Sam concludes, running a hand through her hair 'and she was probably right at the time. How is she?' Sam asks, wondering how the already troubled twelve year old was going to cope with the definite death of her brother.

'She's okay, I suppose' Dylan says 'but she's lost all personality, she's like a shell' he says 'she's barely spoken or looked at me since we were told and she'd just sat on the sofa. She won't eat, won't drink and strangest of all, she _hasn't cried_.'

'I suppose some people take bad news differently.' Sam tells him, trying to reassure him though inside she's probably panicking.

'Anyway, I was wondering if you could do me a favour?' Dylan asks, sounding almost hopeful.

'Sure' Sam says 'anything to help.' She tells him, determined to make sure he knows she's on his side and that she'll support him through this.

'Could you go and collect Luc from his mum's in Sheffield?' he asks her 'I'll give you the address and instructions and everything and I can send her a picture of you so she knows you're no imposter.' He tells her, his dry humour coming out as usual.

Sam allows herself to smile at his final remark, telling him she'll collect his youngest child and scribbling down the address and the instructions he gives her, which make absolutely no sense. She makes a mental note to find some directions online and as they say a hurried goodbye she feels a sinking feeling hit her. She remembers Dylan's youngest son as a bit of a handful, she's only met him once but from what she remembers he spent the whole time hiding, running away from the various people who tried to speak to him and she has a distinct memory of him biting Dylan's brother's hand. She sighs to herself at the thought of encountering this difficult child before plonking herself down in front of her laptop, typing in the postcode Dylan gave her.

_Scarlet_

When they told you, you're not sure how you reacted. You were shocked, that's for sure but for some reason you couldn't cry. You'd had that dream about him, a man had slit your brother's throat and a woman had stabbed him four times in the back. Then they'd bound up his hands and wrists, put him in a bin bag and dragged him to the river. It was almost midnight when you had that dream. It probably wasn't what happened to him but it struck you as odd that you'd been having a dream about your brother dying at around the same time as he was potentially killed. You'd recognised the woman in your dream, something that made it even more unlikely that was what had happened. She'd been your mother. You use the past tense because she's not your mother any more, she left you, tried to kill you. But she wouldn't do that again and besides, she was in Dover or Devon or somewhere down south with her new partner and kids. Well, she was last you heard of her. You remind yourself that your dream was just a dream that vaguely resembled the truth, after all, that's what dreams are, isn't it? Just remnants of the truth all mashed up together in order to make a whole new truth. A fictional truth.

Your emotions probably aren't normal, Dylan is practically choking on his tears and even the police look a little distressed as they take your DNA but you, you just sit there blankly, completely void of any real emotion. You want to feel something but for some reason you can't. You can't bring yourself to show any display of real feeling. Maybe this is what it feels like to be your father. Then again, he tries to stop his emotions from spilling out whereas you just want them to come; you want to be able to feel something, anything, anger, hatred, sorrow. You don't really mind, just as long as you stop feeling this dull, numb ache.

It's a Sunday, the last day of the holidays. You were meant to be going over to your friend's house because Dad had a night shift. Luc was meant to be coming home and going to stay with Dad's friend, who had two children who had taken an instant dislike to you. That's why you were going to Anna's instead. You suppose you won't go to Anna's, or to school tomorrow or even to school on Tuesday. Dad might even take the week off work and stay home, making you and Luc do the same thing. He might go back to the drink and you'll have to relive that nightmare all over again. If Jude is certainly the victim, so much could change. You might find yourself in a completely different living situation. You're not sure whether your previous life, the one where Jude is missing but not dead is more preferable. You're not sure whether uncertainty is a better thing to have in your life than knowing for sure that your brother is gone forever; dead. You don't want to know he's dead but on the other hand, you'd rather not be trapped in that endless limbo of where is he? It drives people crazy and you don't want to become one of them; you just want to know where Jude is. But you don't think you want your Dad or brother or anyone else to find out. You'd like them to be trapped in the endless cycle; the endless limbo because it makes life so much easier for you. It's selfish but it's true.

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**Really not sure about this chapter but hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter and I think in the next one I'm going to mention everyone's names because I feel bad not giving you a mention… I'm just too lazy to do it now :P I'll also try and update my other fic (about Jude and Sam and the episode 'Perfect Blue') as soon as possible! I've just had a bit of a mind block with that one!**

**_Butterfly_**


	5. Over

I've decided to end this (not many reviews) but thanks to the people who've reviewed; xHanaMitchx, Terri Ann, Hana (or are you xHanaMitchx?), Kayla, lovelyja, casualty-mad, ficmouse, Emily Wadge and various guests. Or are you the same person? I'm not sure. Either way, thankyou! It's a bit cheesy and cliched and sentimental but hey, where would we be without clichés? We'd basically have no Hollywood! Hope you enjoy...

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For April, my step-sister from hell, Emma, my step-sister from heaven, Ella, who's just Ella and Sunny, who always matches her name.

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**Chapter 5**

**_Over_**

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It was funny, really, when you thought about it. That is, it would be if the circumstances weren't quite so dire. The body wasn't Jude; whoever it was didn't match either Scarlet or Dylan's DNA. They hadn't really known how to react when the news was broken to them; should they burst into tears or jump for joy? Or should they just remain poker faced, void of any emotion. So they all just sat there on the sofa, in a row, looking blank. Scarlet, Dylan, Luc (who'd been collected without too much hassle) and Sam.

'Thank you, officer' Sam finally broke the silence, standing up to shake the officer's hand before showing her the way out. Luc was the next to speak; he slid off the sofa and went to stand in front of Dylan, trying to climb onto his knees.

'Daddy' he chirped, 'if that boy wasn't Jude who was it?' He asked, his big blue eyes staring inquisitively into Dylan's own green orbs. Scarlet could see Dylan was in no mood to talk, so she pulled her brother off her dad's knees and answered the questions for him.

'They don't know who that boy is yet' Scarlet told him as he squirmed in her lap 'they just know it isn't Jude.' She placed a kiss on the side of his forehead and he wiped it off, like he always did.

'So where is Jude then?' Luc asked, his voice mingled with curiosity and confusion 'why did they think it was him?'

Scarlet gave a sigh 'they thought it was Jude because it was difficult to properly see who it was but from what they were able to tell he matched Jude's description' Scarlet explains, as patiently as she felt humanly possible considering the trying circumstances 'now they'll be looking for Jude again because they still don't know where he is.'

'No they won't ' Dylan suddenly pipes up from his end of the sofa. Luc twists his body around to look at his dad while Scarlet immediately questions why he's said that. Sam, having seen the officer out, was now sat in an armchair and Scarlet spots a warning look he flashes at Dylan. A warning look he evidently ignores. 'They aren't looking for Jude' Dylan says, truthfully albeit rather harshly. 'They've given up, they just think he's dead.' He rises from the sofa and begins to walk towards his room. 'Soon enough it'll be declared a cold case and they'll forget all about it, forget that a fifteen year old boy called Jude Edward Keogh was ever missing and move on with their lives.' He notices the shocked expressions on the faces of Scarlet, Sam and Luc and so decides to add. 'What? Surely you didn't think they actually cared?'

**Sam**

You can't believe he's just done that. What was he thinking? You watch him march out of the room before turning back to his two younger children, both of whom look as thought they're about to burst into tears. 'Is it true?' You hear Scarlet ask in a choked voice. You shut your eyes for a moment, as if your eyelids will act as a barrier that prevent you from telling the truth. 'Is it true?' Scarlet repeats, her voice stronger, more forceful this time.

You realise you have no other option but to tell the truth. 'Yes.' You say, hating what you're saying but knowing it has to be said sooner or later. 'It's not true that they don't care' you say 'they do care, they care a lot. It's just that they can't go on looking forever; at some point they have to stop.'

'Why?' Scarlet asks, tears ganging up on her eyelashes. 'Why do they have to stop? Why can't they go on forever?'

You open your mouth, ready to fight the questions that are bound to come flying at you, some angry, many just sorrowful. But Luc gets there first. 'Because if everyone is looking for Jude no-one will ever find any of the other missing children.' He concludes forlornly. 'I don't think we're ever going to see Jude again.' He says and you marvel at the maturity with which he managed to say these words. Not for the first time it hits you that children are often far more intelligent than adults.

'We aren't going to see Jude again.' You, along with Scarlet and Luc, turn to the doorway, where the voice has come from. The origin of the voice is stood there, grumpy as always. 'I think we all need to accept that. All we can do now is remember him.'

You hate hearing those words said and you know it pains Scout and Luc to hear them too but they're right. The old phrase, 'sometimes the truth hurts' definitely applies for this scenario. But hurting because of the truth is better than being torn up inside because of the lies.

...

At about the same time the metropolitan police concluded it was time to call it a day on the search for Jude Keogh. He was missing and there was nothing they could do. They were getting ready to go to the house when they got a call. A call from the Keogh family, saying they wanted them to stop looking for Jude.

...

The following week they were gathered around a tree sapling they'd planted; Luc, Scarlet, Dylan, Sam and Miriam. All the people who had known Jude best. One by one, they placed flowers around the tree, Luc, Dylan, Sam, Miriam and finally Scarlet. Her flowers were the smallest, just a tiny bunch of edelweiss flowers and as she laid them down she whispered.

'One day we'll find you Jude and when we do; make sure you have that marmalade you owe me. I had to have jam on my toast for about a week after you burnt that toast.'


End file.
